this is really important to discuss because i think it happens more often than we think! as most of you know, for the love of blogs does not tolerate that nor shameless self promoting! in a world full of inspiration and positive people, also comes a little negative. I'm saying that because it's not as bad as it may seem but still needs addressing!
I wanted to share a recent story about my photos on instagram. Social media is a huge part of blogging and I love to share all kinds of pretty photos as most of us do. I decided after this incident to make my profile private, which is huge for me because I'm a very public person. It may change but for now, it's going to be limited access.
I had a man who was following my photos unbeknownst to me in a rather creepy, stalkerish type of way. I didn't know until he left a comment and started to message me some rather crazy things about my photos. Like irregular. Very un-normal. He basically tried to make me feel uncomfortable in my own skin, told me that I was purposely taking feet shots for all the feet fetish men out there, and that the photos of my necklaces and shirts for the day were to show my breasts not my jewelry. His account didn't have any photos, just a new account that was meant for stalking. I ignored him and blocked him and made my account private because he kept going on and on about how i was anything but the truth. I'm entitled to share what I like and not feel ashamed for doing so. I wasn't naked or trying to show skin in that type of way and truthfully, I never thought that anyone would be perv enough to look at shoe photos and pretty much jerk off to my feet. He told me that. And it was rather disturbing. But this is some real shit. It happens and I want everyone to be aware of it.
Although he made me cry after stating that I needed to lose weight, I knew that I couldn't and wouldn't let his negative behavior tear me down. And understanding a sociopath will ultimately help you overcome any type of belittling on the web!
1.) KNOW WHO YOU ARE: it's crucial to know who we are as bloggers and people. Regardless of what anyone says, deep down we know that what they try to say is not true. And being proud of who you are and what you do is the only thing that matters.
2.) DELETE UNWANTED COMMENTS: these people are mean. In order to grab your attention, they leave nasty comments. Delete them immediately and DO NOT RESPOND.
3.) MOVE ON ABOUT YOUR DAY: someone thinks you're ugly, ok....AND? keep it moving. Don't let them dull your sparkle. We have better things to do with our time than to think about that one person on the web who is trying to ruin our day.
4.) PROTECT YOUR ACCOUNTS: if something like this happens or you are in fear that someone may be secretly stalking you, protect your online accounts. Make them private and go through your list of followers to delete or block unwanted accounts from viewing your photos, tweets, even your blog if it gets to be real bad.
5.) WRITE ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCE: in a positive manner, tell others what you dealt with, so they too can be aware of these incidents. It will also help you to realize that this is not about you but the person that needs help.
6.) DON'T GIVE UP: the bully is trying to make you stop what you are doing! {insert a lol key} No. No. No. You do not let them win. You keep doing what you love to do and if you like to take pics of your shoes, by golly-----you post them girl!!! Don't ever stop doing what you want to do because someone is being so mean that they cringe at what makes you happy. Those pics and posts aren't for them, they're for us...don't ever give that up!
7.) KEEP DELETING AND IGNORING: the meany will eventually go away if you do this and it's by far the best way to move on and deal with it. as much as you'd like to say stuff back, DON'T. You don't need that negative energy at all, so if they find a way to keep commenting or messaging you, don't read, delete and move on. Keep deleting them and act like it was never there to begin with. They are invisible. Don't feed unwanted energy.
8.) SMILE: remember why you do what you do and smile
9.) BAKE SOME COOKIES AND SHARE: to keep your mind off of what the negative person said; bake, cook, and smell the fresh air outside. Share them on your blog and remember that you are an amazing person, you are loved by so many bloggers and people who read you around the world.
10.) WRITE THEM A LETTER: even if you do this in draft form and do not publish, write them an open letter of how they made you feel, how you will not tolerate it and that they will not ruin who you are. Remember that this is for you not them. It's a way to get through this experience and to prevent any unwanted comments, CLOSE THE COMMENTS. In your settings, before you publish, if you decide to, mark the comments closed on this post to prevent any more negativity.
It's a cruel world but overall a wonderful one. We blog, we love and we inspire. If you or someone you know is being abused on the web or in person, please contact us to talk. You are not alone.
I had a man who was following my photos unbeknownst to me in a rather creepy, stalkerish type of way. I didn't know until he left a comment and started to message me some rather crazy things about my photos. Like irregular. Very un-normal. He basically tried to make me feel uncomfortable in my own skin, told me that I was purposely taking feet shots for all the feet fetish men out there, and that the photos of my necklaces and shirts for the day were to show my breasts not my jewelry. His account didn't have any photos, just a new account that was meant for stalking. I ignored him and blocked him and made my account private because he kept going on and on about how i was anything but the truth. I'm entitled to share what I like and not feel ashamed for doing so. I wasn't naked or trying to show skin in that type of way and truthfully, I never thought that anyone would be perv enough to look at shoe photos and pretty much jerk off to my feet. He told me that. And it was rather disturbing. But this is some real shit. It happens and I want everyone to be aware of it.
Although he made me cry after stating that I needed to lose weight, I knew that I couldn't and wouldn't let his negative behavior tear me down. And understanding a sociopath will ultimately help you overcome any type of belittling on the web!
1.) KNOW WHO YOU ARE: it's crucial to know who we are as bloggers and people. Regardless of what anyone says, deep down we know that what they try to say is not true. And being proud of who you are and what you do is the only thing that matters.
2.) DELETE UNWANTED COMMENTS: these people are mean. In order to grab your attention, they leave nasty comments. Delete them immediately and DO NOT RESPOND.
3.) MOVE ON ABOUT YOUR DAY: someone thinks you're ugly, ok....AND? keep it moving. Don't let them dull your sparkle. We have better things to do with our time than to think about that one person on the web who is trying to ruin our day.
4.) PROTECT YOUR ACCOUNTS: if something like this happens or you are in fear that someone may be secretly stalking you, protect your online accounts. Make them private and go through your list of followers to delete or block unwanted accounts from viewing your photos, tweets, even your blog if it gets to be real bad.
5.) WRITE ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCE: in a positive manner, tell others what you dealt with, so they too can be aware of these incidents. It will also help you to realize that this is not about you but the person that needs help.
6.) DON'T GIVE UP: the bully is trying to make you stop what you are doing! {insert a lol key} No. No. No. You do not let them win. You keep doing what you love to do and if you like to take pics of your shoes, by golly-----you post them girl!!! Don't ever stop doing what you want to do because someone is being so mean that they cringe at what makes you happy. Those pics and posts aren't for them, they're for us...don't ever give that up!
7.) KEEP DELETING AND IGNORING: the meany will eventually go away if you do this and it's by far the best way to move on and deal with it. as much as you'd like to say stuff back, DON'T. You don't need that negative energy at all, so if they find a way to keep commenting or messaging you, don't read, delete and move on. Keep deleting them and act like it was never there to begin with. They are invisible. Don't feed unwanted energy.
8.) SMILE: remember why you do what you do and smile
9.) BAKE SOME COOKIES AND SHARE: to keep your mind off of what the negative person said; bake, cook, and smell the fresh air outside. Share them on your blog and remember that you are an amazing person, you are loved by so many bloggers and people who read you around the world.
10.) WRITE THEM A LETTER: even if you do this in draft form and do not publish, write them an open letter of how they made you feel, how you will not tolerate it and that they will not ruin who you are. Remember that this is for you not them. It's a way to get through this experience and to prevent any unwanted comments, CLOSE THE COMMENTS. In your settings, before you publish, if you decide to, mark the comments closed on this post to prevent any more negativity.
It's a cruel world but overall a wonderful one. We blog, we love and we inspire. If you or someone you know is being abused on the web or in person, please contact us to talk. You are not alone.
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